ALCOHOL

When I tell people that I don't drink alcohol, I am almost always asked the question: why? As if it is up to me to explain why I don't want to ingest toxic substances that render my senses numb and stop me experiencing life fully. The default position is very definitely: drink alcohol.

If you don't you are a bit weird, a bit boring, like when Fun Bobby gave up drinking in Friends. Here in the UK we have the Carling lager adverts urging people to 'Belong'. The quite transparent message is if you don't drink a lot with your mates, you aren't a proper mate. It is ironically ended with a small caption reminding people to drink sensibly.



I don't really think I should have to answer the question why I don't drink alcohol. I often start by asking the questioner why they do drink alcohol.

Here are some common reasons I get:-

• It helps me relax.


• It helps me have more fun.


• It helps me be less inhibited.

All good things to gain. But why not just relax? Why not just have more fun? Why not just say 'f**k off' to inhibitions for good, all the time, not just when drinking?

After discussing this I usually do end up answering the question and have a great long list of reasons not to drink alcohol. Here they are:-

• It makes me fat.


• It makes me lazy.


• It makes me ill.


• It makes me generally demotivated in all aspects of life.


• It makes me skint.


• It sometimes makes me an obnoxious tw*t.


• It gives me an extremely short-term focused attitude. For example always thinking 'where am I going drinking this weekend' rather than 'what do I want to achieve this week / month / year / lifetime'.


• It prevents me from really experiencing all the things that are going on around me, from feeling the feelings, hearing the sounds, smelling, seeing and remembering.


• It makes me just like the vast majority of other blokes my age in this country, getting drunk every single weekend, and as you may have noticed, I am not too keen on being like everyone else.

Now I am not an evangelist. I do not seek to tell everybody else that they should stop drinking. It's really none of my business what other people do.

I simply wish to challenge the popular assumption that drinking is a great and fun thing to do and that not drinking is dull and boring. It seems to me the other way round. The sheep go to the same pubs / clubs week in week out, drink the same number of the same drinks with the same people. Then once a twice a year they go to a holiday resort and do it there instead.

Each to their own I guess. I don't need to 'belong', as Carling keep urging me, I would rather just 'be'.

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