STEPHANIE

Many moons ago, just before I went to university, I decided to do a bit of traveling. I had read a few books and seen some TV programs which all seemed to indicate that this would be a good idea so that I could 'find out who I really was".

After a number of months visiting several countries on a shoestring, I finally made the rather surprising discovery that I am really Princess Stephanie of Monaco. I have no idea who that cheeky bint is who has been spending my money and wearing my dresses and tiaras all these years, but it's hard not to feel a certain amount of resentment.